Extra Fucks to Give!!
#52 Fuck You Mean
When I read articles, posts or comments that are a combination of fearful, stupid or cruel, I’ve trained my body for an automatic response.
My lungs take a deep inhale, and a slow exhale.
My inner monologue repeats:
Covid causes damage to the brain’s frontal lobe.
It’s true.
Documented Covid-19 damage in research studies most often involves reduced blood flow to the prefrontal cortex.
Impairment in this part of the brain can cause short-term and long-term difficulties in reasoning, thinking critically, and planning for the future. Impairment can also disrupt functioning of fear responses and aggression. All of which exacerbates any existing physiological and psychological health issues.
You know what else can do that much damage to the brain in a short amount of time, and persist for a long amount of time?
Trauma.
We know from decades of PTSD research that trauma causes damage to the functioning of the frontal lobe, among other regions, just as a physical injury can.
The more trauma, the more potential for long-term damage, and possibly lifelong damage as research has shown for many decades in studies of soldiers and civilians of war, and later, early childhood neglect and abuse. Also confirmed by studies on brain damage to the frontal lobe of professional football players and boxers, and the impact of that damage to their personality and overall brain regulation.
The effects of trauma on the brain are far more diverse than what we know so far about Covid-19, which is limited. Don’t expect that to change anytime soon, as most governments have cut funding to Covid research, along with trauma research and public health projects in general. But, what research has found about Covid is that the damage to the brain is real, just as trauma damage is real.
Covid-19 infections and global trauma, two things we always have an abundance of these days; these years.
Am I suggesting that the majority of humans alive right now have varying degrees of brain damage? I believe it’s possible, yes. I believe trauma and illness are affecting our populations in ways we may never fully realize.
Without a doubt, systemic trauma is shortening millions of lives in a variety of terrible ways, including overdose and suicide deaths. Globally, people cannot access the care they need and resources are disappearing.
No one is operating at a healthy baseline. The major stressors in our lives are elevated in the chaos around us, not to the same degree, but collectively all the same.
I can’t recall a time in my life that our governments cared less about health, the cost of food and shelter, or the number of citizens who need social welfare programs to survive.
We are all more on edge, more nervous about the future, more heartbroken about the growing suffering, and our limited ability to do much about any of it. Is it any wonder we can’t concentrate, can’t feel that same pre-pandemic calm, or find our footing on landscapes being burned and flooded away.
Our brains and our hearts are presssssed.
So, when I read articles, posts or comments that are a combination of fearful, stupid or cruel, I remind myself that none of us are operating at full capacity.
And I turn off the news, shut the computer, put my phone down. Tune out the world and try to finish another chapter of Vonnegut before my eyes, or my anxiety, cuts the attempt short.
And I touch the star hanging next to my heart, remembering to hold my gaze on the distant speck of hope that sometimes shimmers from another, better world. Because in this world, everyone has fucking brain damage.